Welcome to the Dugout. Mind the low beam and that rotten step, third from the top. I've gone out on another of my unauthorized solo patrols, so there's no telling if or when I'll return, or what state I'll be if I finally do, so I don't mind at all if you step inside and put your boots up for a little spell. After all, it's going to be a long war. Help yourself to any victuals you find ~~ they've all been pilfered anyway. Just keep your mitts off the cognac (it's boobytrapped) and, as for the cigars, I smoked the last one this morning for breakfast.

The scuttlebutt is true! ~~ the Dugout has been redecorated! A coat of fresh paint slapped on the walls, a good thorough fumigation to keep down the lice, and even a cursory going-over with the feather-duster. Martha Stewart would be proud! . . . . Rats remain a problem, but then that's why God invented the Colt.45 Service Pistol, Model 1911. So if you've never been here before, or haven't dropped in lately, do step in now, for a little taste of the "old World War".